Questioning One's Faith is ACTUALLY a Good Thing

www.pinoyexchange.com ... sweet!

The MTRCB (the Philippine agency which rates movies for showing) has so far, for me, done a good job with regards to handling the controversy raised by the showing of "The Da Vinci Code" in the Philippines. The said movie premiered in the Philippines last May 18, two days after I arrived here. I've been looking forward to seeing the movie with my best buds here.

I am a Catholic, and proud to be one. I studied for 15 years in two Catholic schools - from kindergarten to senior year in college. My two preschool years were also in two Catholic institutions. I went through First Communion, Confirmation, the seven gifts and twelve fruits of the Holy Spirit, the different books of the Bible, regular mass attendance, First Friday Mass, exegetical studies of the Bible, philosophy of religion, among others, as part of my religious upbringing. I felt extremely sad when the late Pope John Paul II passed away last year. Our family, as they say, is "cerrado catolico" (closed catholic). The last year has in fact been only my first year studying in a non-Catholic institution. Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda yadda. Blabber blabber blabber. Yeah, sometimes it takes me years to make my point. But there, I've made it. But lest this be misinterpreted as bragging (really!!??), allow me to say that being a good Catholic is not measured by the amount of religious education you've had (note that I never said I was a good Catholic). I think I was, until I turned 13. Hahaha.

I am also a person of science, or so I'd like to think. I completely buy the inherent value of a rational way of thinking. I believe that our society is largely dependent on the advances brought upon by our collective scientific talent. We should never take things at face value, without questioning their validity. Our rationality is an aspect of our humanity that we must continuously use, since it is one of the things that define us.

When I was around 20 years old, I stopped believing. To be accurate, I did not really turn into an atheist. I became an agnostic. The way I understand it, an atheist completely believes that God does not exist, that we are alone in this universe, while an agnostic believes that we can never be sure whether God exists or not. Then a few years back, I cannot pinpoint exactly when, I went back to being a believer, not for reasons of inconvenience definitely (it's actually so much more convenient to be in-between). I was looking for a reason to believe, but I realized that faith is sometimes completely outside the realm of reason. You believe, not because of anything. You just believe. And so I made that jump.

Pardon me for that long detour. I guess I just wanted to say where I'm coming from, so that I can clearly make my point.

ARE YOU STILL THERE?

Good. Please bear with me.

Bottomline is: I DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO FUCKIN' TELL ME WHAT I CAN OR CANNOT WATCH. I am completely capable of making up my own mind, you see. I have every right to watch "The Da Vinci Code" in the same way that I have the right not to watch "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" -- I'm not sure I made much sense there, but it felt good saying that.

What are some of the reasons I've heard/received/read on why the movie should be banned in the Philippines? Here are some of them.

LIPA Archbishop Ramon Arguelles has urged Philippine film censors to ban in local theaters the Hollywood film “The Da Vince Code,” dismissing it as blasphemous.

"In a predominantly Christian country like the Philippines, making publicly available such film is sinfully condoning blasphemy and undermining the very limits of the people's value and religious foundation," Arguelles wrote in his May 8 letter to Movie, Television, Review, and Classification Board chair Marissa Laguardia.

Prelate asks film censors to ban 'Da Vinci Code'
Philippine Daily Inquirer, 9 May 2006

I'm so frustrated by this comment that the only reaction you'll see from me regarding this is: NO SHIT! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH. OOOMMMMPPP (sound you make when slamming your head on the wall). OOOMMMMPPP. OOOMMMMPPP. aaaarrrrkkkkkggggghhh (sound you make when gasping for breath).

Now, I've seen the movie. I've seen it twice. So what is my pseudo-expert and self-serving opinion on the matter?

PEOPLE, WHAT WAS THAT FUSS ALL ABOUT!!?? You radical Christians, there was nothing to be worried about! We should be more afraid of some of the crappy television fare we as a society feed our kids. Low production standards that don't inspire us to strive for the very best. Illogical plotlines that just don't make sense even if you suspend your disbelief by a long stretch. These could be more easily ingrained in young impressionable minds, and the danger here is that the attack is subtle.

Something unrelated: My friend and I were talking about Prof. Langdon's (played by Tom Hanks) presentation at the start of the movie. Hah! There was no way a know-it-all professor like him could have done that! Not even if he had good, hardworking, dedicated graduate/teaching assistants! Graduate assistants would already be hard-pressed to balance their workload as students with their workload as slaves. It seems, for my friend and me, that the only way Prof. Langdon could have come up with such a presentation is if he hired professionals to do it for him.

Graduation Thoughts

Note: I wrote this piece March of 2001.JB, Caro, Debbie, Gary, Me, Marina
Earlyn, Budjik, Ethel, Ruel, Mayang, Yves
Crissy, Melissa, Rey, Roselle, Aison, Erick

Noel, MM, Eunice, Christine, Steve, Me, Loric, Carmi, Bal, Eric

This Sunday is again exceedingly hot. And uneventful. And boring. Thus perfect. It is in moments of silence like this that I find the opportunity to look back on past events.

Last night would be a good starting point. It was a graduation I admit, as memorable as the one I had a year ago. No, this is not then entirely about my graduation, but if you insist, this is more about me and my friends.

I have been teaching for a year now. I was fortunate enough not to go through those job interviews and months of waiting for financial independence. The defensive part of me would like to back up the naïve part of me that thinks anyway that there is probably something good which comes out of those moments of limbo and insecurity. Anyway, my point is, I was at least secure of what was there after graduation, so that I could easily move on.

You see, I have a problem with moving on. I can get to be so attached with little details. I have with me all the quizzes and tests returned to me since Grade 2 – because I might be famous one day and these papers could catch up a hefty sum, notwithstanding the fact that I might have to be dead before the prices appreciate. I can also get to be so immersed in details about people – it’s either I love them terribly or I can never let go of one small bad thing they did to me in the past.

For me, graduation is a time of moving on. Now, it’s time to face the real world (God knows how I hate cliches to death, so I must be having the time of my life now). This cliché assumes that the academic environment is not like the real world – whatever that is. I agree, though I admit that it’s up to us when we’re “out there” to decide if the real world and the ideal are necessarily mutually exclusive. I guess I live in an ideal world. I haven’t moved on, have I?

I have been in this ideal for quite some time now. Last night, my graduating friends, with arms raised and fists clenched in the traditional graduation song, bade farewell to academic life. Last night too, my arms were raised amidst a multitude of fellow journeymen, as if taunting the gods, proclaiming to them that the world is ours, that we can summon the convergence of the ideal and the imperfect, the not yet real, and what actually is.

I’m happy for them – my friends. They are so pure and so foolish, raring to immerse themselves into a future where there is no turning back. I myself have too much more to see myself, but I admit things could still be more complicated than what our experiences allow us to see. In the past, our only problem was trying to sneak past the imposed afternoon naps so we can watch the “Thundercats.” Now, we see more and more that the world doesn’t revolve around the self, that things really aren’t that simple anymore.

I really don’t have anything profound to say here which will improve the human condition. How could I, when I take pride in being sarcastic, although I’m not always successful in this department. I’m just writing all these because I’ll miss some of my friends terribly. Now, this piece you might say, is a year late. Yes, I still miss my own batchmates sometimes, although I get to see some of them once in a while, so this could very well be also for them.

To them, for having taught me to do many things – those which I am proud of, and even those I shouldn’t have done but did anyway, I am forever grateful (where forever, according to my dictionary, is only as long as I want it to last). You are such little devils – in the nice, cutesy sense of the word.

Thank you for disappointing me once in a while, because you brought me back to earth. Whether you were all academically outstanding is an entirely different story which is irrelevant now. Thank you for being heartless sometimes and inconsiderate, and damn juvenile, because you made life more exciting and worth a second glance.

Thank you for being reckless and making the world a less safer place to live in, because you finally made it real for me. Only then did I see that it could still be so much better than what it is now.

Today, for you, is a new day (oh yes, we do love cliches). It is supposed to be another day for me. I have one more set of final exams to finish checking today as the submission of grades was yesterday, after all. Never mind that. Foolish you may be, but I think that as far as I am concerned, the world still revolves sometimes around me (try being swell headed sometimes, it’s nice). Let me then choose this to be a new day for me as it is for you.

What’s in it for me? Nothing much. It’s just the day where I can be so mushy and admit grudgingly that you touched my life so much to draw three tears from my left eye, as we hugged each other last night even if that meant missing the dinner for faculty members as I was celebrating with you. Your insignificant lives as insects surprisingly had a dent on my profound existence to drive me to spend money and a week thinking and looking for gifts you would like.

Some people will be unfair – get used to it. Congratulations – you’re now about to face them, love them, and hate them. You could even get to be very productive there. I’m sure you have the potential to be unique dregs of society. Outside, and most of the time, you seem not to care, but you know it – your hearts are in the right place.

Finally, you’re moving on. You’ll be leaving me here in the school where we met, where we had fun, where we thought each other was a jerk. You’re accompanied by a sense perhaps of relief although I’m sure you’re also confronted by a sense of the unknown. Will we still talk to each other after ten years? Will we even bother to say hi to each other when we meet each other by accident? If fate (do you still believe in fate?) would have it that our paths would cross again, would we even care? Would I myself even have these same sentiments in that time?

No, chances are, these issues wouldn’t matter anymore. What would we possibly talk about? Here again is the pessimist in me. Do you also admit the pessimist in you? It’s because like you, I’m also probably afraid. I’m afraid of how temporal we are, and of how forgetful we are. Like I said, our problems and issues would be more complex in the future. What we are worrying about now will be so juvenile and childish in the future that we won’t even have time to think much about each other. We might end up to be just specks of dust in each other’s memories.

Never mind that for now. Let me choose to dwell on the here and now. Who do you guys think will get drunk beyond control the next time? Who will we push on the ledge of the stage in Streetlife next? You wanna bet?

Introduction

What made me decide to finally put up my own blog? I was bored, and I felt the world was evil enough (not really) to deserve a blogpage such as my own for punishment. Yep, the world needs another one of these mindless and self-indulgent blogpages (blogpage, blogsite... I'm such a neophyte).

Just finished the spring semester last week, so I'm done being a nerd for now. Last Thursday and Friday were particularly tough. I slept for only one hour, and then two hours the next day. And to make sure I'd wake up for the exams, I slept on my chair. It was an office chair, so it was still a bit comfy. Of course, nothing beats sleeping horizontally, which according to latest statistics, is still the preferred mode of sleep for 98.7% *** of the human population.

Lei Zhang, Amanda Philips, Me, Lilka Siudeja, Catherine Zvinevich, and Jose Lugo. Roof party at Philip Hackney's place.

Anyhow, I did get to sleep Friday, then woke up after 3 or so hours in time for a party with other grad students. Was too pooped to make it for some barhopping fun at 1 am, so I slept.

David Carchedi, Me, Philip Hackney, Lisa Driskell. Scary red eyes.

But who cares? I just wanted to say that I've recovered from all that drudgery. Right now, I'm taking things easy, waking up whenever I want to, and sleeping whenever I want to. You see, I don't have a problem with sleeping late. It's sleeping late - or most of the time not sleeping at all - for something related to work, which I have a problem with. Now, I can stay late, watching Alias reruns from 2 to 6 am, without having to worry about a pesky 10:30 am class, which I'd attend anyway without understanding anything, sleep or no sleep.

However, I still have things to take care of: (1) moving my stuff out of my current apartment, and (2) preparing for a well-deserved break in the Philippines for almost 3 months.

I'm almost done with moving my stuff... well, almost. Uhm, not really. Moving out, at the very least, implies that my things should not be within sight. My things are still very much in my room, and they're not about to energize or apparate anytime soon. But hey, except for some essentials I still need, I've put all of my stuff in boxes already, so that clothes I don't need, daily bath soap, shampoo, toothbrush, are already at the bottom of the heap. Now is the time to live like a moderately-hygienic monkey.

The thing is, my current lease ends while I'm still in the Philippines. So, before I fly home to embrace the scorching summer tropic heat, I need to take out everything from what has been my home for almost a year. Of course, I cannot move in yet to my new apartment and at least dump my stuff there, since my lease there starts only this August. I originally planned to distribute my 15 boxes to my friends, since asking one of them to take everything would be asking too much. Naturally, I was worried about the logistics (which box goes to whom), and so I was very relieved when a good friend of mine, Jinwoo Park, volunteered to take all of my things. As a token of my appreciation, I will mention again his name here and even put in in bold, and as a bonus (wow, the rewards just don't stop), highlight it in gray: JINWOO PARK. <--- period to end sentence

Jinwoo Park, Hans McDoodle. Hansy heart Jin.

That's it, I'm sleeping.


***Disclaimer: I reserve the right to make up my own statistical figures to meet my own ends.